This convo took place between me and my five year old son.

Child: Mommy, Dana wasn’t acting like she was my girlfriend today.

Adult: What? (totally caught off guard and confused)

Child: She wasn’t acting like she was my girlfriend today. She was acting like she was Timmy’s girlfriend.

Adult: How was she acting like she was Timmy’s girlfriend?

Child: She was sitting on his lap.

Adult: (appalled) Sitting on his lap?! Has she ever acted like she was your girlfriend???

Child: No, not yet.

Adult: Good, mommy doesn’t want her to be your girlfriend. Let’s keep it that way.