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This conversation took place at my home after my five year old son finished using the bathroom. He was calling to me from the bathroom.
Child: Mommy, aren’t you gonna come wipe my butt?
Adult: Wipe your own butt. You’re five years old. You can wipe your own butt now.
Child: Why?
Adult: Because, it’s your butt. Who wipes your butt at school? Don’t you wipe your butt at school?
Child: I don’t boo boo at school.
Adult: Oh…
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This conversation took place in the car as I was driving my three year old son to daycare.
Child: Mommy! Mommy!
Adult: Yes, Jordan?
Child: My ding, ding!
Adult: Your ding, ding? What’s wrong with your ding, ding?
Child: It won’t go down.
Adult: (totally shocked) Make it go down.
Child: I can’t!
Adult: Yes you can.
Child: Go down ding, ding, go down!
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5 People like this.

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This conversation took place in the car.
Child: Can you hold my trash for me?
Adult: No, just hold it until we get home. Then you can throw it away.
Child: But I can’t hold it anymore.
Adult: Why not?
Child: Because, I’m allergic to it.
*Blank Stare*
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This conversation took place as me and my husband were playing with our three year old.
Child: Mommy is silly.
Adult: No, Daddy is silly.
Child: No, Daddy not silly, Daddy is crazy.
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4 People like this.

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