This convo took place between me and my five year old son after he returned home from school.  He is in kindergarten and he is constantly competing with his best friend Willy. 

Child: I want a girlfriend so bad.

Adult: Why do you want a girlfriend?

Child: Because.

Adult: Well, what does a girlfriend do?

Child: They hang out and stuff…

Adult: Okay…

Child: And they’re nice to you. (pauses) I don’t want to talk about the kissing part.

Adult: Jaden, you’re too young to have a girlfriend.

Child: Well how old do I have to be to have a girlfriend?

Adult: Hmmm… thirteen. 

Child: Thirteen?!

Adult: Yes.

Child: Well when am I going to be thirteen?

Adult: Eight more birthdays.

Child: Eight more birthdays???

Adult: Yes.

Child: Well what if Willy has eight more birthdays before me?

*Blank Stare*